14 Signs Your Wife Wants to Leave You (And What to Do?)

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Are there signs that your wife wants a divorce? Can you ever be sure your that wife is happy and that your marriage is on solid ground? Unfortunately, separations happen all the time, and more often than not, it comes as a total surprise to one spouse.

Whether you’ve been together for a few short months or three decades, you can’t predict when things will come to a screeching halt! So, have you ignored the warning signs? Do you even know the signs to look for when your wife wants to leave you?

No? Maybe, you need to learn more about those signs and what you can potentially do to prevent your marriage from falling apart. 

1. Looking For or Contacting a Divorce Attorney or Other Divorce-related Legal Services

One of the number one signs that your wife wants a divorce or is planning to leave you is when she’s looking for divorce attorneys or an online divorce service. Worst still, if she’s already been talking to one, it’s a sure-fire bet she’s planning to leave soon. Usually, there’s no good reason to speak to a divorce attorney unless they just so happen to be an old family friend.

So, if you start seeing a lot of calls to an attorney, it’s a significant sign that your wife wants to leave you. Suppose she’s put an attorney on retainer, then that’s how to tell if your wife wants a divorce. If you have kids together, it is wise to speak to a custody lawyer as things may get out of hand if both parties turn ugly on each other.

2. She’s Been Talking About a Trial Separation

Has your wife been talking about taking a break? Trial separations work for couples going through rocky times and need a few weeks apart to calm things down and reflect on what’s been happening.

However, it’s also one of the most significant signs your wife wants to leave you – permanently! If your wife has approached you with having a trial separation, it’s something to consider if things have been going badly recently, but you may want to ask the tricky question ‘is this for the long-term?’ Breaks can be innocent, and your wife may genuinely believe it’ll help the relationship, but it’s also a sign she’s looking for a way out.

3. She Constantly Picks Fights & Argues With You

Couples argue all the time, whether you’re in the honeymoon phase of your relationship or coming up to your golden anniversary! However, if she’s constantly picking fights or wants to argue with you and there’s no good reason for it (you haven’t done anything to upset her), it may signify that she’s not happy in the relationship anymore.

How to tell if your wife wants a divorce and never sees you again? She’s creating a reason to end things when she only wants to argue and isn’t interested in any apologies or forgiveness.

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4. Your Wife’s Spending Nights Out of the Home

Husbands and wives don’t have to be joined at the hip, and it’s not always healthy for the relationship either. However, when your wife is spending more and more nights away from the family home and not interested in sharing the bed with you, that’s when you know she’s thinking about leaving. Why is that?

Usually, wives spend one or two nights a week elsewhere if they have a night out with friends, visiting a sister, or spending time with their elderly parents, but when it goes from one night a week to seven, that’s when you know she’s leaving you or wants to leave.

5. Giving You the Silent Treatment

What have you done to upset her? You can get the silent treatment when you’ve upset your wife, and she’s not ready to forgive you just yet, but there’s something wrong when it’s a constant theme.

Now, she may be a little down, and if that’s the case, you could try to cheer her up or find a way to get her out of the mood she’s feeling. However, if that’s not the problem and she doesn’t want to talk to you or communicate at any given time, it’s a sign she’s not happy and is contemplating leaving you.

6. She No Longer Shares Anything with You

Most couples share their workdays, gossip about friends, talk about finances and what’s going on in the news, but when your wife no longer wants to share things with you, she might want to leave you. Why is that?

She might have only stopped sharing what her day was like with you, but it could mean she’s no longer interested in talking to you. There’s a growing distance in the marriage, and it’s one of the first signs your wife wants to leave you.

7. Your Wife is Constantly Unhappy With You!

People can have off-days where they don’t feel like talking much and aren’t a barrel of laughs, but when it’s directed to one person, that usually means something else is going on. For example, when your wife directs all her anger or is constantly unhappy with everything you do, but she’s perfectly fine with everyone else, she’s potentially looking for a way out of the marriage.

Also, if she seems overly happy with a new friend, possibly a new male friend, it’s one of the first signs your wife wants another man. As extreme as it sounds, there’s a reason why she’s taken an interest in someone else and staring daggers at you every night.

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8. She Doesn’t Care What You Do or Listen to You

Does your wife listen to what you have to say? Does she care when you spill your heart out to her? Does she even notice when you’ve had a bad day at work? When your wife starts to be disinterested in you, whether it’s what you have to say or even do, that’s when you know she’s losing interest in the relationship. Husbands and wives should care about the other and notice when things aren’t right, so when she stops paying attention, she may not be interested in you anymore.

9. No Intimacy

Every marriage has some form of intimacy, no matter the couple’s age. Some couples get to a stage where they don’t need to be as intimate as they once were but remain in love and find other ways to be intimate and enjoy their partner’s company. It’s doesn’t necessarily mean your wife wants to sleep with another man just because she isn’t having a sexual relationship with you (although it may be a sign in some cases).

There are all forms of intimacy like sharing a romantic meal, going for a nice walk or a day trip, and spending time together. Still, when all intimacy stops completely, and she’s not interested, it may signify she wants to leave. Lack of intimacy isn’t always the first sign your wife wants another man, but problems need to be addressed.

10. She’s Cheating or Thinking about It

One of the number one signs your wife wants another man is when she’s thought about cheating. There’s no harm in talking to male friends, it’s healthy to have both male and female friends, but that’s a different story when it goes from friends to lovers. Often, when a spouse cheats, they want out of the relationship but are too afraid to say.

How can you tell if your wife wants a divorce? Cheating is usually the first indication she’s fallen out of love with you and wants out of the marriage. What is more, if there’s a history of infidelity, it’s an even bigger reason to call it quits.

Has your wife been secretive? Does she lock her phone or go into the other room when she receives a message? Does she shamelessly flirt with another man? When you start to see those things, it’s a sign she’s unhappy and probably wants to leave you. If she does things in front of you to let you know, she’s cheating; that’s her way of trying to end the relationship but hoping you’ll take the first steps.

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11. She’s Drained the Bank Accounts

Moving money from one account to another is perfectly fine, but when you suddenly start to notice the money is going down or has been transferred to your wife’s bank account (and there’s nothing new to show from it), it’s time to be suspicious. It could be your wife is planning to leave in the middle of the night, or she’s hiring a divorce attorney. There’s a reason the bank accounts are being drained, and you have to be careful.

12. Your Wife Avoids Spending Time with You

While couples should have time apart to do their own thing, it’s not a good sign when one side wants to avoid spending any time together. When your wife spends far less time at home when you’re there and doesn’t make time for you either, it’s one of the first signs your wife wants to leave you. Why is it that she doesn’t spend time at home? In reality, she’s looking for reasons to stay out of the house. She may not want to be anywhere near you, and she may want to leave.

13. Refuses Counseling or Trying to Fix the Relationship

When there are severe problems within a marriage, most couples will do what they can to try and find a resolution to their issues. However, when one side doesn’t want to resolve the problem, it’s usually because they’re done in the relationship. One of the most significant signs your wife wants a divorce is when she’s not willing to try anything, including seeing a couple’s counselor fix things.

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14. Not Focused on the Marriage

Does your wife care about the state of the marriage? Does your wife care your relationship has fallen apart? Does she want to save it? When your wife doesn’t focus on the relationship and doesn’t seem to care whether you get a divorce or not, she wants out. If you want to know how to tell if your wife wants a divorce, think about whether she cares about the marriage and is willing to fight for it?

What to Do When You Spot the Signs Your Wife Wants to Leave You?

Do you know how to tell if your wife wants a divorce? Sometimes, your wife hasn’t thought that far ahead and is living in the now and wants time away from the marriage. That doesn’t always have to be such a bad thing, not if you can both give one another time to reflect and build bridges. However, you still need to take a proactive approach to help resolve a few of the issues within the relationship.

Communicate with Her

Ask your wife to take time to sit down with you (without anyone else around) and talk about what’s been going on. This is to learn what has gone wrong in the relationship and why your wife might want to leave you. It could be she genuinely didn’t have any intention of leaving even though the signs were there.

If that’s the case, you still should talk about your feelings and how you thought something was wrong. Emphasize the point you want to improve on the marriage so that she knows you’re serious about what you’re telling her. Opening the lines of communication can be a simple way of knowing how your wife feels and can take steps to fix the problems.

For example, your wife felt uncomfortable with her body after gaining a little extra weight and didn’t want to be intimate. If that’s the case, you have to tell her you to understand her feelings but show you love her no matter her weight.

Show You’re Willing to Fight for the Marriage & Her

Let’s say your wife felt as though she was less a priority to you than your friends or work, and she’s thinking about leaving you; what is your reaction? You can’t fly off the handle as angry, hurt, and upset you may be because it’ll only make things worse. Instead, you have to recognize how she’s feeling, and while you mightn’t have meant to neglect or make her think she’s less of a priority to you, show her you’re sorry and willing to make things right. Make sure she knows you want to improve on your marriage.

De-Escalate the Conflict & Clear the Air

When you’ve seen the signs, your wife wants to leave you, and you’ve had a recent disagreement, have you thought about clearing the air? You have to be the bigger person and de-escalate the situation – even when you feel you are in the right. Say, ‘you were hurt, I’m sorry. Things got out of hand, but I want to put it behind us and move on. Let’s forgive one another.’ Also, don’t keep bringing up old wounds – past indiscretions – otherwise, you won’t improve anything, and she’ll still walk away.

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Listen to Her – She May Feel Down

You think you’ve seen the signs your wife wants another man, but have you considered she might have found comfort (but not in the way you think) with another? Have you thought that maybe your wife needs someone to talk to outside of the marriage? She may feel depressed and needs someone to talk to. You’re her husband, but that doesn’t make it easier for her to speak to you.

She might feel uneasy or unsure how to talk about her feelings and might even feel embarrassed about being depressed. Your wife may still love you, and you have to let her know you’re there for her no matter what. If she needs to speak to you, make sure she knows you’re available no matter what time of the day!

Let your wife know you’re there if she needs to talk about her feelings. Understand depression can be caused by several reasons, and it doesn’t mean she’s unhappy in the marriage. Tell her you love her.

Find a Way to Reconnect & Build Trust Again Within the Relationship

Your wife wants to leave, so what to do when your wife wants a divorce? You have to reconnect. Suggest days out or days away – just the two of you – and spend time together, even if it’s a few hours watching a sappy movie. Any time together can be a great thing, and it shows you’re willing to reconnect as a couple and build up the trust between you again. You’re showing your wife you’re eager to work on your issues, and the marriage so is sincere.

Save Your Failing Marriage

When you spot the signs your wife wants a divorce, it’s time to take action. You have to sit with her and find out what’s wrong and why the relationship has ended up where it has. Could you do something differently? Is there a way to make amends and remain a couple? It could be that you both need to make a few changes to allow the relationship to get better.

Sometimes, talking to one another is enough to get the marriage back on track and show your wife there’s something to fight for. So, do what you can to save your marriage.