Opening a conversation with “What do you do?” makes you sound like a shifty, social-climbing dickwad. Small talk is for sissies, but if you’re stuck with it, you can certainly come up with something better than that.
Talking about what brand you’re wearing is gay in the bad way. Just keep quiet and play dumb if someone asks. Talking about what a great deal you got on the aforementioned item is worse. If you must, tell your mom, because she has sale empathy and will take your victory as her own. It’s sick.
8 more rules at Men.Style.