Men.Style Feature – “What Knot To Wear?”

The Fashionisto

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Published February 3, 2009

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“The skinny tie may seem ubiquitous, but there exists a parallel universe in which the fat knot rules. It’s brought to you at halftime every Sunday in high definition by grinning, broad-shouldered former NFL players who loom over their desks. It’s also favored by Euro soccer stars, Italian politicians, and the occasional aging talk-show host. But beware of its false power. On mere mortals, the “Sportscaster,” or jock knot—distinguished not only by its girth but also by its bulk—is the yellow Hummer of neckwear. Flashy, gargantuan, and inappropriate for the times, it’s guaranteed to make you look like a dick.

Unlike those flat, lazy knots your chemistry teacher used to show up with, these clenched fists of fabric always seem to be one tug shy of murder by asphyxiation. They are most often born from the kind of wide tie that’s as silky as it is shiny, and some are so jacked up on sartorial steroids that it’s difficult to tell where they end and the neck begins. As a general rule, if you’ve never rushed for 1,000 yards in a season, steer clear. At best, wearing a McMansion-size knot will make you look like a personal trainer dressed up for a court date­­.”

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1 thought on “Men.Style Feature – “What Knot To Wear?””

  1. WOW!  The writer of this piece is a wordsmith, no doubt.  Too bad, though, that he has chosen to trash a fashion choice with such harsness and stogy self-rightousness.  For a newbie to fashion and all of it’s “choices” one could be shamed into avoiding a try at the Full Windsor or “fat knotted” tie.  The fat knot is just one of many tie wearing styles that one has to choose from and I’d like to think it should remain one ofmany types of knot a man or woman may want to wear during their fashion excursions.  “Make you look like a dick”?  Seriously.  I’d like to know who died and made this write king!

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